alan joesel

Sunday, November 19, 2006

open for discussion

i'm not much of a soda drinker, so this is actually right up my alley. i'm really incapable of burping (this seems genetically impossible, if you know my father or sister -- i wish i could include a sound clip of my dad here), so a fast intake of carbonation leaves me bloated and nauseous. it's one of the main reasons i was not a beer drinker. that combined with the fact that i don't really dig on cola AND i'd prefer something like a juice or lemonade makes this product PERFECT for me.

however, the rate at which i see others downing soda (diet coke is a favorite of many, in particular the sober alcoholic crowd. after a few years or ten of sobriety, when some inner voice tells us to get rid of more vices, our desire to get more clean and free of addictions that aren't as likely to kill, these alcoholics struggle with cigarettes and caffeine. the diet coke calls loudly and is a harsh master to beat.), this seems like an odd product.

yet, it has cropped up en masse as of late, and in many different flavors and manufacturers. i'm giddy and want to buy them all, as not only is it hard for me to consume a whole can of soda before it gets miserably, disgustingly warm (the opposite of having mcdonalds/fast food fries go cold) -- (the only exception being that mountain dew is *tolerable* warm. it becomes like a tea or something) is that i'm in love with all things miniature. if it once had a normal shape and is now been made to a miniaturized size of its former self, i just freakout on it. i don't know why. conversely, oversized items sort of scare me a little.

so, i ask you....why the small cans of soda? the most prevalent answer i get is: the kids. it's for the kids. really? do you think that warrants a whole other product line? it's funny though, because just last night at a party it was brought up that 'ever since kids stopped being a form of labor, we started marketing toward them. we just transferred the source of the money.' someone was talking about working in a research library and having to send out these old journals that were all about how to market toys to kids from the 1920s. and that's when someone else made the observation above.

so, thoughts, comments, suggestions.

on a side, but related note in re: miniaturization and my obsession with it --

check that shit out. i got that yesterday while shopping for some arty supplies. it's a mini sharpie, yo. hell to the yeah. again, a double obsession fulfilled. i am just in love with sharpies. all colors, all sizes, all forms. yesterday, i found out they make retractable sharpies (like ballpoint pens) which blew my mind already. then, i get to the counter to pay, and my friend shows me these mini sharpies in this display. HOLY SHIT. a sharpie that's mini. wow. i buy it and i say to the guy: do you know how POPULAR i am going to be? for real. i'm sure he thinks i'm crazy, but who cares? it's good to be excited about the small things, people, cause that's sometimes all you get. but really, though. i'm going to be so popular.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Your chance has come at last to do the Blue Peter thing and send in suggestions for a name...

We're not trying to name a cutesy fluffy floppy-eared white labrador here.
Nor are we attempting to find a suitable monkier for a ponderous tortoise.
Nor indeed do we need appellations for piscine pets.

We do, however, need a new netname for a Scotsman who likes to kick the shit out of stuff in the name of fun (it's got something to do with Karate aftershave, I think).

Yes! "Gaisgeach" needs a new netname! Something as finger-friendly, memorable, playful, suggestive of things not at all in character, and possibly ripped off from GTA3 as "Pogo (The Monkey)". After all, if I can get away with it, anyone can.

So... suggestions in the comment box, folks!

Who knows, if he gets a decent netname he might even restart blogging. But let's get the name sorted first, eh.

posted @ 2:18 PM

Smart Programming
The programming tool in front of me is the very acme of artificial intelligence. I've just loaded some code into it. Its verdict?

No Structure

I couldn't agree more.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Pay Day Loans...

I really get the shits when I run out of money. Especially when I know I’m not far off payday. So this week I decided I’ve had enough of this bullshit and I am going to get a payday loan. So here I am shopping around for the best payday loan and I came across this great site myrate it’s got the best rates for all sorts of stuff. I will be using this one to resaech me pay day loans again!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Since when does the government have the right to tell us when we can retire?What the hell has it got to do with them?Not that I have the option, having not even started a pension till I was 26, and since then only paid in as little as I could get away with (ie afford). But it's the principle of the thing, isn't it? What right has the government got to tell us when we can retire?Fuck that. I'm emigrating.

The latest CASPIAN newletter is too annoying to keep to myself. Disregard, disagree, or disseminate as you think fit:I have disturbing news from the RFID front lines. CASPIAN has uncovered evidence of industry plans to deploy RFID tracking devices in consumer clothing items. A $600 million company called Checkpoint has developed prototype labels containing RFID spychips for Abercrombie & Fitch, Calvin Klein, and Champion sportswear. These tags contain tiny computer chips with unique ID numbers that can be read remotely by anyone with the right equipment.Potentially, people wearing the tagged clothing items could be identified and tracked as they pass through Checkpoint-equipped doorways and store portals, as they stand near Checkpoint's retail "smart shelves" containing hidden RFID reader devices, or when they enter Checkpoint's planned RFID "smart zones" in stores.Checkpoint has an infrastructure of anti-theft reader devices already in place at stores and libraries around the world. (Look at the bottom of the next security portal you pass through and you may see the Checkpoint name.) These portals could be retrofitted to silently read and record the unique ID numbers contained in Checkpoint's new clothing tags, or in any other item Checkpoint may be tagging. Since there is no legal requirement for companies to tell consumers when products they buy contain RFID tags, this may already be happening. Earlier this year, Checkpoint announced the purchase of 100 million RFID tags from vendor Matrics. Nearly a year ago, a senior Checkpoint executive boasted that "the technology is ready to pilot," and revealed that "we're working with forward-thinking consumer product goods manufacturers and and small business retail clients on pilots."